Stop Shrinking to Fit: Your Guide to Narcissistic and Gaslighting Abuse Recovery

If you’ve ever silenced your own needs to keep the peace, or questioned your own reality after a confusing conversation, this book was written for you.

Shrink to Fit: Narcissistic and Gaslighting Abuse Recovery Workbook - Book 1 is a compassionate guide through the invisible wounds of emotional abuse.

This is not just another book that defines narcissism; it is a hybrid recovery experience that centers you, the survivor.

Inside, you will walk alongside:

Ava, a daughter navigating a lifetime of subtle control and criticism from her narcissistic father.
Aaron, a husband trapped in the quietly eroding grip of his narcissistic wife.

Their raw, survivor-inspired stories act as a mirror, validating the often-unseen dynamics of parental and romantic partner abuse. Woven between their narratives, you’ll find trauma-informed workbook sections with gentle reflection prompts and practical exercises designed to help you safely process your own experience.

This workbook is your map to:

Recognize the Fog: Identify the subtle tactics of gaslighting, blame-shifting, and control disguised as care.
Trust Yourself Again: Reclaim your reality and learn to honor your feelings as valid signals, not flaws.
Build Your Safety Fence: Begin the crucial work of setting boundaries to protect your peace and energy.
Reconnect with Your Voice: Move from the silence of survival to the strength of self-worth.

This isn't just a book; it’s the first step to reclaiming the space you were always meant to occupy.

Begin with the first chapter of Book 1 and discover the path to your own unshrinking.

Download Free Chapter 1 (PDF)

Begin Your Unshrinking

“I was made to feel replaceable. Now I know I am irreplaceable.”

Survivor Voice
“I kept apologizing just to save the friendship, but she only liked me when I was small enough to stay beneath her.”

Survivor Voice
“He gaslit me into believing I was a liar, a cheater, incompetent — until I couldn’t tell the difference between his voice and my own.”

Survivor Voice
“For years, I thought criticism was care. It took me a long time to realize that love is supposed to feel safe, not sharp.”

Survivor Voice
“I realized I was always praised for being quiet, never for speaking up. That shaped everything.”

Survivor Voice
“My family never yelled. The cruelty was in what wasn't said. The approval that was just... never there.”

Survivor Voice
“The worst cuts were the ones delivered with a smile, in front of everyone.”

Survivor Voice
“I lived for the crumbs. I'd endure weeks of coldness for one afternoon of warmth. I didn't realize the crumbs were just there to keep me starving.”

Survivor Voice
“I became a ghost. It was easier to be invisible than to be a target.”

Survivor Voice
“It wasn't the yelling that broke me, it was the silence afterward. The silence that said I was worthless.”

Survivor Voice
“For me, the landmine was the phrase ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.’ It was a gut punch every single time.”

Survivor Voice
“The worst part wasn't the lie itself, but the way they told it with such conviction that I started to believe I was the one who was crazy.”

Survivor Voice
“I was the designated 'reason' for every bad mood, every forgotten appointment, every burnt dinner. It was never about them; it was always about my failure to prevent it.”

Survivor Voice
“The scariest part wasn't the abuse. It was the moment I looked in the mirror and realized I didn't recognize the person staring back. I had erased myself to survive them.”

Survivor Voice
“I became so good at predicting their needs that I forgot I had any of my own.”

Survivor Voice
“I downplayed every single achievement because my success seemed to make them angry. I learned to be small.”

Survivor Voice
“They never told me 'no.' They just helped me see all the reasons my own 'yes' was a bad idea.”

Survivor Voice
“Every piece of 'advice' was a criticism in disguise. It was never about helping me; it was about pointing out how I was doing it wrong.”

Survivor Voice
“I was loyal to the fantasy of who they could be, not to the reality of who they were. Breaking that loyalty was the hardest, most necessary heartbreak.”

Survivor Voice
“The guilt was the worst part. I felt guilty for wanting to leave, then guilty for staying. There was no escape from it.”

Survivor Voice
“My 'aha' moment was watching my friend's husband bring her a cup of tea without being asked. The sheer, simple kindness of it broke my heart, because I realized I would never receive that.”

Survivor Voice
“Every word I swallowed ended up in my clenched jaw.”

Survivor Voice
“The good days were the cruelest part. They were just enough to make me forget the bad days, just enough to make me stay.”

Survivor Voice
“Saying 'no' for the first time was the most terrifying, most powerful, most freeing thing I have ever done. It was the moment I chose to save myself.”

Survivor Voice
“No Contact is not a punishment. It is a consequence. It is the sound of your own soul finally saying, 'I will not let you hurt me anymore.”

Survivor Voice
“I thought No Contact was extreme. Then I realized the abuse was extreme. The solution had to match the problem.”

Survivor Voice
“You don't just lose the person. You lose the future you built in your head. The grief for that is a whole different kind of heavy.”

Survivor Voice
“Grieving someone who is still alive is a special kind of hell. You're mourning the person you thought they were, and the person you became to survive them.”

Survivor Voice
“I wasn't just grieving him. I was grieving the woman I could have been if I had left sooner.”

Survivor Voice
“The first time I bought a piece of furniture just because I liked it, without worrying what they would think, I cried. It felt like the first piece of my own life.”

Survivor Voice
“For years, my ex controlled the thermostat. It sounds so small, but it was always set to his comfort, leaving me constantly cold. The first bill I paid in my own apartment, where I'd kept the heat blissfully high for a month, was a declaration of independence. I wasn't just paying for heat; I was paying for my own warmth.”

Survivor Voice
“The first time I bought a brand of coffee just for me, I almost cried in the grocery store. It felt like such a small, powerful act of rebellion.”

Survivor Voice
“Finding my voice wasn't about learning how to shout. It was about learning that my quiet 'no' was just as powerful as their loud 'yes'.”

Survivor Voice
“The goal isn't to be fearless. The goal is to know you are worthy, even when you are afraid.”

Survivor Voice
“My first act of rebellion wasn't yelling back. It was buying the 'wrong' kind of mustard at the grocery store, just because I liked it.”

Survivor Voice
“Healing is not about erasing the scars. It's about learning to build a life so full of color and light that the scars become a part of the masterpiece, not the whole picture.”

Survivor Voice
“Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But every day I wake up safe, I’m reminded it was worth it.”

Survivor Voice

Stop Shrinking to Fit: Your Guide to Narcissistic and Gaslighting Abuse Recovery

“I was made to feel replaceable. Now I know I am irreplaceable.”

“I kept apologizing just to save the friendship, but she only liked me when I was small enough to stay beneath her.”

“He gaslit me into believing I was a liar, a cheater, incompetent — until I couldn’t tell the difference between his voice and my own.”

“For years, I thought criticism was care. It took me a long time to realize that love is supposed to feel safe, not sharp.”

“I realized I was always praised for being quiet, never for speaking up. That shaped everything.”

“My family never yelled. The cruelty was in what wasn't said. The approval that was just... never there.”

“The worst cuts were the ones delivered with a smile, in front of everyone.”

“I lived for the crumbs. I'd endure weeks of coldness for one afternoon of warmth. I didn't realize the crumbs were just there to keep me starving.”

“I became a ghost. It was easier to be invisible than to be a target.”

“It wasn't the yelling that broke me, it was the silence afterward. The silence that said I was worthless.”

“For me, the landmine was the phrase ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.’ It was a gut punch every single time.”

“The worst part wasn't the lie itself, but the way they told it with such conviction that I started to believe I was the one who was crazy.”

“I was the designated 'reason' for every bad mood, every forgotten appointment, every burnt dinner. It was never about them; it was always about my failure to prevent it.”

“The scariest part wasn't the abuse. It was the moment I looked in the mirror and realized I didn't recognize the person staring back. I had erased myself to survive them.”

“I became so good at predicting their needs that I forgot I had any of my own.”

“I downplayed every single achievement because my success seemed to make them angry. I learned to be small.”

“They never told me 'no.' They just helped me see all the reasons my own 'yes' was a bad idea.”

“Every piece of 'advice' was a criticism in disguise. It was never about helping me; it was about pointing out how I was doing it wrong.”

“I was loyal to the fantasy of who they could be, not to the reality of who they were. Breaking that loyalty was the hardest, most necessary heartbreak.”

“The guilt was the worst part. I felt guilty for wanting to leave, then guilty for staying. There was no escape from it.”

“My 'aha' moment was watching my friend's husband bring her a cup of tea without being asked. The sheer, simple kindness of it broke my heart, because I realized I would never receive that.”

“Every word I swallowed ended up in my clenched jaw.”

“The good days were the cruelest part. They were just enough to make me forget the bad days, just enough to make me stay.”

“Saying 'no' for the first time was the most terrifying, most powerful, most freeing thing I have ever done. It was the moment I chose to save myself.”

“No Contact is not a punishment. It is a consequence. It is the sound of your own soul finally saying, 'I will not let you hurt me anymore.”

“I thought No Contact was extreme. Then I realized the abuse was extreme. The solution had to match the problem.”

“You don't just lose the person. You lose the future you built in your head. The grief for that is a whole different kind of heavy.”

“Grieving someone who is still alive is a special kind of hell. You're mourning the person you thought they were, and the person you became to survive them.”

“I wasn't just grieving him. I was grieving the woman I could have been if I had left sooner.”

“The first time I bought a piece of furniture just because I liked it, without worrying what they would think, I cried. It felt like the first piece of my own life.”

“The first time I bought a brand of coffee just for me, I almost cried in the grocery store. It felt like such a small, powerful act of rebellion.”

“Finding my voice wasn't about learning how to shout. It was about learning that my quiet 'no' was just as powerful as their loud 'yes'.”

“The goal isn't to be fearless. The goal is to know you are worthy, even when you are afraid.”

“My first act of rebellion wasn't yelling back. It was buying the 'wrong' kind of mustard at the grocery store, just because I liked it.”

“Healing is not about erasing the scars. It's about learning to build a life so full of color and light that the scars become a part of the masterpiece, not the whole picture.”

“Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But every day I wake up safe, I’m reminded it was worth it.”

Lina Alba Books